Batfam Bonanza
by BookofOdym
Summary: Now that Hal and Bruce are dating, Hal finds himself spending a lot more time with Bruce's family. In return, Bruce has to spend time with Hal's. Did I mention that Hal's family includes Guy Gardner? (Batlantern)
1. Dick

Hal had asked Bruce when they started dating if them being together meant that he was allowed to operate inside Gotham. Bruce had strict rules about who could be in his city, and rule number one was probably "no Lanterns." Bruce had been silent for a moment as if he was giving it some serious thought before he replied with a blunt: "Stay out of my City."

Hal had looked at him incredulously, asking how he expected to be given blowjobs if Hal wasn't allowed in Gotham, but Bruce had just left the room with a swish of his cape.

But something was going on at Arkham on that night, so Hal thought that Bruce could maybe do with some help with his city, especially when he overheard something about shipments from Modora coming into Gotham from some gang members. Anything coming from Modora was Lantern business, and Bruce couldn't say anything if Hal stopped his own villains in his territory (probably).

He just hadn't expected someone to cough behind him as he opened one of the crates.

"Does B know that you're here?" Dick Grayson asked, dangling from a wooden beam that was supporting the roof by his legs.

"He actually thinks I'm at home in his bed," Hal replied, pulling a box from the crate, "he'll only find out I'm not there if he calls to ask for help, which isn't gonna happen." He made a resigned noise when he finally deciphered the language on the package, it had ended up being easier to just learn Modoran rather than to use the ring, it was always mistranslating phrases into sexual propositions. "Nucleo Sonic Motor, it's my case."

Unfortunately, instead of leaving, Dick front flipped onto the ground, "and how do you think Bruce is going to take it if his boyfriend is in the hospital and I didn't do anything to stop it."

Hal wanted to tell him that he had been fighting Sonar since Dick had been Robin and that he actually had a chance to talk him down, but he knew that nothing would convince him to let him handle it alone. Dick would end up watching him from a nearby rooftop if nothing else, and there really was no way to stop him from following, so he reluctantly formed a construct platform that could carry the younger man as he flew through the air.

They stopped outside the Dark Side Bar, an unfortunately named establishment that had Hal uncertain if the proprietors were aware of Darkseid as a being or if they were just fans of Star Wars.

He let his constructs dissolve as Dick jumped to the ground, leaving him in his civilian clothes, this would work better as a somewhat clandestine operation, and even though more of Hal's villains knew his secret identity than technically should have, he didn't think Bito would reveal it like that.

"Can you wait outside for a second?" He turned to Dick, who looked apprehensive. "You can get involved if things get violent, but I think if a guy goes to your funeral, he has to at least kind of like you."

Dick winced but promised that he would bring him grapes when he inevitably ended up in hospital.

It was actually pretty amazing how many of his villains were in a seedy bar in Gotham, so many that Hal was starting to wonder if they would appreciate a similar one in Coast City, but one with less filthy beer mugs, he should ask John about that. The original Tattooed Man was working at the bar and dropped his gaze to the mug in his hand the second that he noticed Hal, giving it some half-hearted wipes with a cloth. Hal hoped that this was an honest job for him in his long road to reform.

Major Disaster was cheating at darts, Hal hadn't actually been aware that you could do that until he saw one of the darts rebound off of the board and fly directly into the eye of the man who threw it, who collapsed to the floor with a cry of pain.

He diverted his eyes from the growing pool of blood, turning his attention to actually finding the man who he was looking for until he finally spotted Neal Emerson sitting at a table in the corner. A fashionably dressed arm was wrapped around his shoulder, and the man gave Hal the weak smile of a man who had been dragged to the bar when he had really just wanted to go to the movies.

Hal plonked himself down on the chair across from them. "So, you two on a date?"

Sonar beamed at him, apparently unconcerned with the fact that his old enemy had tracked him to a villain bar. "Miscreant! You are alive! But I am afraid that you will not be ruining my plans tonight. First, you will have to figure out what they are."

"Well," Hal paused so that he could steal a handful of fries from their shared plate, "judging from the crates in the warehouse by the docks... I'm guessing that you're taking advantage of Music Meister's arrest and moving in on his territory so that you can technically be a Batman villain, and Modora will become more famous by proxy."

Sonar looked offended. "Nepristojan! I would never be unfaithful to you!"

Hal shifted uncomfortably in his seat in response to that, and Neal buried his face in his hands, before sighing. "He got offered 500 dollars for some of his motors, Riddler has a new death trap planned."

"Do not tell him!"

"Then don't flirt!"

Hal decided that he didn't particularly want to stay for the argument, but as he stood up, he felt the unmistakable feeling of the cold barrel of a gun pressing up against the back of his neck.

"Now, unless you happen to be Parallax right now," came the cold voice of Keith Kenyon, "I don't see any reason for you to be in here."

The window next to them exploded inwards so suddenly that Hal didn't know if it was because of the discharge of a sonic weapon or because Nightwing had taken the opportunity to jump through it. But a well-placed kick from the vigilante sent the Gold Gun careening away from Hal's head and down his arm right as a beam shot from its barrel.

"Oh, you idiot," Hal smirked, turning towards the fight, already preparing to jump in, "you just gave me a metal arm."

Unfortunately for both Hal and Dick, that was when a rough voice rang out: "Hey, isn't that Nightwing?!"

All Hell proceeded to break loose.

"Hey," Hal said three hours later as he leaned against the door frame of Dick's hospital room, looking more sheepish than Dick had ever seen him in the fifteen years they had known each other. He pulled a paper bag out of a pocket dimension, "I know you probably didn't have dinner, and burgers taste way better than hospital food."

"Thanks," Dick easily caught the bag when Hal tossed it in his direction, "but you don't need to apologize."

"I should have recognized Kenyon. I've fought him enough times. Bruce is going to give me a lecture about being aware of my surroundings again."

Dick laughed. "Probably. But I'm not Bruce, and I just thought it was pretty cool when you adapted to using that arm to fight so quickly."

Hal winced. "You think he'll notice that?"

"That your arm is solid gold?"

Hal took the hint, and immediately went quiet, Dick immediately knew that he had to change the subject since the Lantern was obviously thinking about how painful Bruce would make the breakup when he saw.

"He just doesn't want you getting involved in Gotham because he's protective. Clark is invulnerable pretty much all the time, but you aren't," it was probably a bad time to mention the one time five years before that Bruce had said that the Lanterns wore the most powerful weapon in the universe but shared half a brain cell between them. "He thinks that if your ring runs out of charge when you're working with him, the Joker will hurt you. But if you can prove him wrong..."

It would be a tough challenge, but Hal was the most strong-willed person in the sector, if anyone could do it, it was him.

"Plus," Dick continued, "if you ask him to teach you to fight, he'll probably be seriously turned on."


	2. Jason

It was dark when Hal woke up, and a thick arm had been thrown loosely around him. If Bruce was back, then that probably meant that it was between three and four in the morning, and Hal already knew that was no way that he would be able to get back to sleep, especially when he had an early flight the next day.

Bruce's arm tightened around him when he moved to get up, and his blue eyes fluttered open, leveling Hal with the glare of the truly tired, he growled a noise of complaint, trying to pull the Lantern underneath him, but gave up after Hal pulled away more forcefully.

Hal rolled his eyes but ruffled Bruce's hair as he pulled away. "Just going to get some water," he told him, but Bruce had already drifted back off to sleep.

With a sigh, Hal headed towards the kitchen. The entire house was dark, but he didn't bother turning on any of the lights as the glow from his ring could light his way. Plus, he didn't particularly want to wake any of Bruce's kids.

The light was already on in the kitchen, and a quick glance showed him that Jason Todd was raiding the fridge, with a six pack of beer already resting on the table. Hal was actually kind of surprised to see him, since he knew that he and Bruce had more issues than almost anyone else he knew, although, since Jason was stealing food in the dead of night, it was hardly a sign that they'd even talked about their problems.

Bruce wouldn't want Hal getting involved though, especially since he couldn't even repair his own relationship with his older brother.

"Are you even old enough to be drinking beer?" He asked, getting disappointed when Jason didn't even seem slightly surprised to hear his voice, he just pulled out the leftover pizza that Tim had left in the fridge and downed an entire can of beer in one go. The way he turned towards Hal afterward made it evident that he'd done it out of spite.

After a few moments spent in awkward silence, Jason finally spoke. "Is today Bruce's day?" He asked.

"Bruce's day?" Hal turned that question over in his head, trying to find the secret meaning, but it remained impenetrable.

"I was just remembering some of the rumors that I heard about you and the Justice League. You and all of the founding members, in fact." The smirk that formed on Jason's lips made it clear exactly what he was talking about. "Which is fine, you know, if a man wants to be dicked down by six or seven other men and a hot Amazonian who am I to judge?"

Hal, who decided that he needed to be a lot drunker than he was to deal with the 'you're way too much of a slut to be dating my dad' talk, snagged one of Jason's beers and cracked it open. "It's only Bruce's day in the sense that every day is his day now if he feels up to it."

The look on the younger man's face shifted to something that Hal didn't want to analyze. "And if you feel up to it, don't forget that you're Roy's uncle, he gets worried about you," Jason said sternly. Hal had to resist the urge to shrug in response, he didn't like that Jason knew about his previous issues, but Roy had been there when he had thrown up the cum from one of the Lost Lanterns. He'd been too sick to be on duty, and John would have put him on desk duty for a month if he'd known, but he'd still let the alien fuck his mouth when he asked.

In retrospect, the fact that Ke'Haan's cum was bright red had probably been what freaked Roy out in the first place, and everything else had just added on to that initial worry.

Jason continued. "So, you and Bruce. What is this? Dating?"

"Uh, Bruce isn't exactly a big fan of the whole going on dates thing. His favorite lecture is that being seen together in public might lead to our identities being compromised."

"God," Jason muttered, offering Hal a slice of pizza and another beer, because he deserved it after dealing with Bruce's shit for so long, "I have not watched him pine over you for years, only to have him ruin this with his own paranoia. Have you asked him to go on a date in Coast City?"

"The highlight of the nightlife in Coast City is Warriors. Something tells me that Bruce wouldn't exactly consider hanging out in Guy's bar a good time," he sat there, deep in thought for a long while. "Do you think that he'd go in for moonlight scuba diving?"

Jason snorted. "You want to ask Batman to go skinny dipping with you?"

The fact that Hal's cheeks started to turn pink in response to that probably didn't help his case when he retorted: "I'm not asking him to go skinny dipping! I was just remembering the first time I asked Clark out."

"You asked Superman to go skinny dipping?!"

It was, all in all, the worst possible time for Bruce to shuffle into the kitchen. "What's going on?" He asked blearily, he had clearly just woken up.

"Talking about all of Hal's dates with Clark," Jason grinned, Hal was beginning to suspect that he just liked causing chaos, "and how you need to be a better boyfriend, but you two can sort that out between yourselves. I'm heading out."

He jumped out of the window at that, leaving Hal and Bruce standing alone in the kitchen.

"I'm a bad boyfriend?" Bruce said finally, after staring longingly at the coffee machine for five minutes, before remembering that he didn't know how to work it. He sounded confused, but then he'd clearly only had two hours of sleep, possibly less. Hal kissed his forehead, already leading Bruce back to bed. "Will skinny dipping make me a better boyfriend?"

"Oh my God," Hal muttered to himself, "you're fine, just get some more rest."

But Bruce was like a dog with a bone, it really was a shame how this was the only time he knew when to express his emotions.

"Clark's married, I don't think you'll have much luck with him."

It looked like Hal had to tell him. "We were just talking about date ideas. Because we haven't even gone on a date yet, B."

Bruce blinked at him sleepily. "There's a French Restaurant in Cherry Hill that I could take you to tomorrow."

Yeah, that wasn't happening.

Warriors would probably do.


End file.
